Daily Archives: November 9, 2007
Meet the Robinsons (2007)
NETFLIX SYNOPSIS: In this animated adventure, brilliant preteen inventor Lewis (voiced by Daniel Hansen) creates a memory scanner to retrieve his earliest recollections and find out why his mother gave him up for adoption. But when the villainous Bowler Hat Guy steals the machine, Lewis is ready to give up on his quest — until the mysterious Wilbur Robinson (Wesley Singerman) shows up on the scene, whisking Lewis to the future to find the scanner … and his mom.
REVIEW: Disney’s computer animation department should be really embarrased at their poor showing. Chicken Little, The Wild, and now this embarassment. Although MTR isn’t quite as bad as Disney’s first two disasters, it suffers the same ailments: a lousy script and uninteresting characters. The jokes are forced too. I thought the message was a good one (“Keep Moving Forward” which is neatly tied to a Walt Disney quote at the end of the film) but the concept was poorly executed.
2.5 stars
HAWK
1408 (Theatrical Version) (2007)
NETFLIX SYNOPSIS: No one can explain the strange goings-on in room 1408 of the Dolphin Hotel. In this thriller based on a Stephen King story, writer and paranormal debunker Mike Enslin (John Cusack) is determined to demystify the ghostly events, even though a hotel clerk (Samuel L. Jackson) begs him to rethink his plans. Mike needs to write another book soon, and room 1408 may be his ticket to the top of the best-seller list. But will he survive even one night?
REVIEW: I always enjoy a good horror film that doesn’t rely on a lot of gore to deliver the chills. Is the room really haunted or does it all take place in John Cusack’s imagination? (The ending answers the question a bit too bluntly for my taste.)
4 stars
HAWK
The Wind in the Willows (1999)
NETFLIX SYNOPSIS: An ensemble of well-meaning critters try to discourage their well-to-do friend, Mr. Toad, from going on a global adventure in this animated version of the beloved classic. But the reckless amphibian’s zest for life in the fast lane and his need for speed can’t be denied. Writer Kenneth Grahame’s delightful tale incorporates a host of quirky animal characters, including a refined rat, a judicious mole and an erudite badger.
REVIEW: The ugly animation is exceeded in awfulness only by the horrible voice-acting. This children’s classic was much better adapted by Disney in The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr Toad, although this version cleaves a bit closer to the original source material.
2 stars
HAWK
Next (2007)
NETFLIX SYNOPSIS: Las Vegas magician Cris Johnson (Nicolas Cage) can see a few minutes into the future, an ability he uses to enhance his shows — and to win at blackjack. But when FBI counterterror agent (Julianne Moore) wants his help in thwarting a nuclear attack on Los Angeles, Cris finds his psychic skills put to the ultimate test. Based on Philip K. Dick’s short story “The Golden Man,” this sci-fi thriller co-stars Jessica Biel and Peter Falk.
REVIEW: Much better than I expected (I didn’t expect much). Based on a short story by one of my favorite authors (Philip K Dick, who also wrote stories that inspired Blade Runner and Minority Report, among others), it’s an action film with an interesting idea (a man who can see two minutes into the future). Sort of like Deja Vu but less exasperating. Still, someone needs to take the stick out of Julianne Moore’s ass. Seriously, that Hannibal movie wrecked her career.
3.5 stars
HAWK
Masters of Horror: Takashi Miike: Imprint (2005)
NETFLIX SYNOPSIS: Called “one of the most unsettling horror directors alive” by the New York Daily News, Takashi Miike lives up to that reputation with this disturbing shocker. An American journalist (Billy Drago) is searching for a prostitute in 19th-century Japan; what he finds instead is a deformed courtesan with a tale of unspeakable cruelty. Based on a Japanese horror novel, this presentation is the first uncensored version to be available in America.
REVIEW: This was extrememly disturbing in both subject matter and gore. The DVD has footage not shown when the episode aired on Showtime. Not for the squeamish, and not the best introduction to the show.
3.5 stars
HAWK
Masters of Horror: Don Coscarelli: Incident On and Off A Mountain Road (2005)
Incident on and Off a Mountain Road 
NETFLIX SYNOPSIS: After a serial killer called Moonface kidnaps the seemingly vulnerable Ellen (Bree Turner), she’s taken to a remote woodland cabin and bound to the floor with a grotty cell mate (Angus Scrimm). But little does Moonface know that Ellen intends to survive … by any means necessary. Based on a short story by Joe Lansdale, this harrowing volume of Showtime’s “Masters of Horror” series comes from director Don Coscarelli (Phantasm).
REVIEW: Just when you think it’s a typical cat-and-mouse slasher film, the plot hits you with a fun twist. My favorite episode of MOH, along with John Landis’ Family.
4 stars
HAWK
Netflix Cinemajig 
