NETFLIX SYNOPSIS: Teenage Sarah (Jennifer Connelly) — fed up with baby-sitting — wishes that goblins would whisk away her baby brother. Much to her surprise, she gets her wish. The perfidious Goblin King (David Bowie), who lives in a castle surrounded by a giant labyrinth, gives Sarah one chance to save her sibling: Get to the castle — through the maze — in 13 hours. But to navigate the perilous labyrinth, Sarah will have to muster all her mettle and might.
REVIEW: After having heard such great things about this movie for years, I finally decided to check it out. What a colossal disappointment! The story is some nonsense about a child being taken by the “Goblin King” to a faraway castle surrounded by a muppet- populated maze, where he is to be tortured by horrible 80s synth- pop. The Goblin King is played by David Bowie after a make-over by Culture Club’s hair and makeup crew, and feel free to play guessing games as to what vegetable Dave slipped down the front of his skin- tight pants. Labyrinth and Dark Crystal are both reasons why Jim Henson Productions staffers need to “just say no” to dangerous psychadelic substances.