Shoot ‘em Up (2007)
NETFLIX SYNOPSIS: When a mysterious loner named Mr. Smith (Clive Owen, Children of Men) delivers a woman’s baby during an intense shoot-out, he inadvertently lands himself at odds with the ruthless Mr. Hertz (Paul Giamatti). Aided by the enigmatic DQ (Monica Bellucci), Mr. Smith is tasked with protecting the newborn from Hertz and his henchmen. Written and directed by Michael Davis, this bullet-riddled action thriller also stars Ramona Pringle and Chris Jericho.
REVIEW: This was a laugh-out-loud action movie. It was a thrill ride from the start and I loved it. It was reminiscent of Die Hard and McGyver and at one point I started singing ‘It’s raining men, hallelujah’. It was over the top, but that didn’t matter. It was just pure, mindless fun. And of course Clive Owen is not bad to look at either.
4 stars
Sophiene
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My god, the sheer badosity of it. I know it’s commonplace in actioners for the good guys to be great shots and the bad guys to be the worst shots ever, but SEU goes wayyyy over the top. I suppose the filmmakers would say that’s part of the joke, but the joke isn’t very funny and it’s repeated ad nauseam. Since the shootouts are the only thing that’s going on, and they’re not staged w/any kind of imagination or flair, it just gets boring watching scores of villains shooting at and missing our hero (Clive Owen), while he nails everyone of them w/one bullet. In one scene Owen is being chased down a very narrow aisle by 2 assassins who could not be more than 10 friggin’ feet behind him and they’re both blasting away w/a gun in each hand and their shots are hitting the shelves and the ceiling and the floor…
Like the just-as-awful “Smokin’ Aces” and the even worse “Lucky Number Slevin,” this is a purported comedy-actioner that ain’t funny and ain’t exciting. The humor consists of awful dialog and terrible puns, the hero killing bad guys w/a carrot, a villain whose wife keeps calling and interrupting him at (of course) the most inopportune moments, a shootout during a birth, a shootout during sex, a shootout during a parachute jump… I don’t think the plot made any sense but I lost interest and may have missed something relevant. The biggest plot holes come from the bad guys always knowing where Owen is, even though he’s constantly on the run and they couldn’t possibly have any way of finding him, but they just show up out of nowhere, blasting away.
Netflix Rating: Absolute garbage.
Harold
