The Shaft (2001)

                  The Shaft                 

NETFLIX SYNOPSIS:  A dangerous, secret presence that seems to mysteriously inhabit an elevator in New York City’s Millennium building is killing off passengers — and the death toll keeps rising. When a mechanic (James Marshall) and a reporter (Naomi Watts) go to investigate, they must battle a vicious enemy and discover a secret that could add them to the casualty list. Dan Hedaya, Michael Ironside, Ron Perlman and Eric Thal co-star.

REVIEW:  This was on the SciFi channel this evening and I’d never heard of it so I tuned it in.  I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. It was pretty creepy at points, and had a few funny situations here and there.  But then it went off into some weird territory, trying to explain why the elevators are now killing machines, which I felt it never recovered from.

Actually, at the start of the film, I thought they had a great premise that they could have gone with, along the lines of “Village of the Damned.”  The opening scene has a number of near-birth pregnant women taking the elevator down from their exercise class and getting stuck on the express elevator.  The final shot when they are rescued never really shows us what happened to them — cutting to another scene — so we assume they are all OK.  But, I was thinking, WHAT IF when the elevator doors opened:

– None of the pregnant women are pregnant any longer, and there are no signs of the newborns? — Only a bunch of babies are found on the floor of the elevator, but no mommies?

Now either of those would have been REALLY out there — especially after the “Twilight Zone” marathon they ran over the weekend. 

2.5 stars
Randy the Ogre

Semi-Pro (2008)

                  Semi-Pro                

NETFLIX SYNOPSIS:  Will Ferrell stars as Jackie Moon, owner and coach of the Flint Michigan Tropics — the team with the worst record in the renegade American Basketball Association. With the franchise on the brink of collapse, can Jackie’s squad rebound to salvation in the National Basketball Association? Director Kent Alterman’s entertaining comedy (set in 1976) also stars Woody Harrelson, Maura Tierney, André Benjamin and Andy Richter.

REVIEW:  Another year, another dim-witted, half-baked comedy from Will Ferrell.  2008 finds us watching Will’s send-up of the ABA, a basketball league that encountered minor success in the late 1970s before being gobbled up by the NBA.  Will plays, uh, himself, as usual, this time as an owner/coach/player of an ABA franchise in Flint Michigan, who will find his team contracted as the ABA shuts down for good.  Unfortunately, unlike last year’s surprisingly amusing Blades of Glory, this is one of those “unfunny” Ferrell flicks where you can safely predict every punch line before it flies out of his piehole.  My favorite part was a brief early cameo by old ABA players George “Iceman” Gervin and Artis “A-Train” Gilmore.  If only the rest of the film had such spirit.

2.5 stars
HAWK

Werewolf of London (1935)

               Werewolf of London            

NETFLIX SYNOPSIS:  Botanist Wilfred Glendon (Henry Hull) is in Tibet searching for a rare flower that only blooms by moonlight when he’s attacked by a strange howling creature. After surviving the attack, Glendon travels back to London. But when the city is besieged by a series of werewolf attacks, Glendon learns the awful truth: He’s the werewolf! The only thing that can cure his affliction is the rare Tibetan flower in this horror classic from Stuart Walker.

REVIEW:  This is actually the first mainstream werewolf movie, preceding the classic The Wolf-Man by 6 years.  The plot is somewhat similar to the Universal Mummy movies, with a scientist who becomes afflicted with the “curse” abroad and returns home to share it with family and friends.  There are plenty of Freudian interpretations that may be applied to the relationship between Glendon — before and after his metamorphosis — and his gal, if that’s your bag, especially once her old beau comes poking around.  The makeup and special effects are quite good for the day, but the plot drags almost unforgivably, especially considering the short length of the feature.

3 stars
HAWK

Cyrano de Bergerac (1990)

               Cyrano de Bergerac            

NETFLIX SYNOPSIS:  Cyrano de Bergerac (Gerard Depardieu) pines for his cousin Roxanne, but won’t reveal his affections for fear that she’ll find his ugly features off-putting. So, Cyrano instructs the studly but stupid Christian how to woo her. Roxanne is entranced by Christian’s beautiful poetry and letters — all ghosted by Cyrano. But Christian dies in battle before he can tell Roxanne the truth. Depardieu won the Best Actor award at Cannes for his performance.

REVIEW:  Snipping a couple inches off the tip of the nose in a nod to realism (I suppose), Depardieu and company have a run at this noble French tale.  I can’t tell if it was my own expectations, the questionable translation in the subtitles (by Anthony Burgess, believe it or not!), or some other factor, but the movie failed to engage me during the first 30 minutes or so.  Once Christian appeared, the gears began to mesh and the rest of the movie was greatly improved, including an ending that probably surpasses the otherwise-better 1950 version.

4 stars
HAWK

WALL-E (2008)

                  WALL-E                 

NETFLIX SYNOPSIS:  In a futuristic world, human beings have destroyed Earth and evacuated the planet, leaving the cleanup to an army of robots they’ve programmed to do their dirty work. Due to a mishap, the dutiful WALL-E is the only one left. But with the arrival of a female probe named EVE, the monotony of WALL-E’s existence is broken — and he experiences love for the first time. Andrew Stanton (Finding Nemo) directs this Pixar tale with a sci-fi twist.

REVIEW:  I watched Wall-E this afternoon with some very high expectations.  I’ve really liked all the Pixar films and this movie has gotten the best reviews of the year.

The movie is overflowing with so many different visuals and references that I’m sure I missed a lot.  I know a lot of you like old sci-fi films (and so do I) - and you will appreciate Wall-E on another level.  I noticed obvious nods to Omega Man, Silent Running, Star Wars, and especially 2001.  [My Netflix avatar is the HAL 9000 eye which gets duplicated exactly for the ship's computer.]

The main part of the film is actually an homage to Charlie Chaplin movies. Wall-E is a low-class trash compacting robot (like Chaplin’s tramp) and he falls in love with a new model probe robot who is obviously out of his class.  Did I mention that most of the movie has no dialogue other than the two robots mechanically pronouncing each other’s name?

The second half of the film turns into an anti-consumer comedy full of idiot humans who are now too fat to walk and they only do whatever their computer screen says.  Isn’t that Disney’s core audience?

I like movies that are different and original and this falls into that category.  I’m curious to see how much small children will like it.  The crowd in my theater seemed restless - lots of “Mommy!  Where’s Wall- E???” The middle of the film does have lots of robots being chased which made the kids happy - to me it was the most boring part.

I liked it a lot, 4 out of 5 stars.  It didn’t quite meet my 5 star expectations, but I think almost anyone will like it and it’s worth seeing in the theater.

4 stars
Phil

*************************************************************************************************

I wonder if PIXAR ever gets tired of hitting home runs? I was skeptical that they’d be able to pull this one off; a story about a robot cleaning up Earth’s trash hundreds of years in the future after mankind has abandoned the planet?  But I should have remembered that this is the same studio that made a large fortune off a rat who cooks in Paris, talking toys, bedroom closet monsters who are scared of children and a small clown fish with a “lucky” fin.  Director Stanton clearly borrowed from his own Finding Nemo; there is no antagonist and many of the flying scenes are extremely reminiscent of the underwater reef scenes in Nemo.  The plot lays on the environmental anti-corporate shtick a bit thick at times, and a lot of kids were getting antsy near the end, but it didn’t make much difference.  The end result?  PIXAR touches all the bags again.

4.5 stars
HAWK

10,000 B.C. (2008)

              10,000 B.C.              

NETFLIX SYNOPSIS:  Fierce mammoth hunter D’Leh (Steven Strait) sets out on an impossible journey to rescue the woman he loves (Camilla Belle) from a vicious warlord and save the people of his village. While venturing into unknown territories, D’Leh and his fellow warriors battle dangerous beasts and discover an amazing new civilization. Roland Emmerich directs this prehistoric epic full of thrilling action and adventure.

REVIEW:  My God, one can only sit back and marvel in awe at the sheer, spectacular badosity of it all. A movie made for people who have never seen any other movies before, since it rips off just about every good movie ever made. Let’s see, off the top of my head, “Apocalypto,” “Jurassic Park,” “Last of the Mohicans,” “2001,” “The Road Warrior,” any number of classic Westerns, as well as the Bible and quite a few fairytales. It’s a hodge-podge, taking various of the best elements from better films, dumbing everything down and jumbling them all together into something they think is a story. The movie as a whole feels like one of those sculptures created out of bits of trash from a junk-pile, except that whole is not greater than the sum of its parts, it’s less.

This is lazy filmmaking; there’s a scene where the various tribes have banded together and are going to cross the harsh desert to find their adversaries. Of course we know they’re going to get lost and be at death’s door, then finally find their way out just as they’re all about to perish. But we don’t get that journey, instead we get a brief scene that lasts about 10 seconds of some of them dying, then bang! - they miraculously find their way outta there the next minute. It’s like the filmmakers are saying “Yeah, we all know what’s going to happen, blah-blah, why bother showing it? Let’s move on to the next cliche. This one doesn’t have enough action to hold your interest.”

The dialog, oh my. Oh my my my. Again, just banal pieces of other films thrown together for effect. At one point the (terribly hackneyed) narrator actually uses the term “…many moons passed…” The tribes have all kinds of cutesy substitute names that are supposed to make them sound authentic - a winding river is “The Snake”, a Mammoth is called a “Mamut” or something like that, and so on. The writers just arbitrarily pick certain phrases and names and insert some like-sounding expression or trite metaphor and expect it to come across as a convincing language of these ancient people. This is most unfortunate since at other times their speech sounds quite modern; I really wouldn’t have been that surprised to hear one of the tribal brothers call another “dude.”

NF Rating: 1/10 of Star, for the hot ingenue.
Harold

The Hammer (2007)

                The Hammer               

NETFLIX SYNOPSIS:  An aging boxer (Adam Carolla) turned construction worker dons his gloves again two decades after stepping away from the ring in a bid to win the prize he had been unable to attain before, a berth on the U.S. Olympic Boxing Team. Years past his prime, the onetime up-and-comer struggles in the ring and out as the boxing establishment doubts he can pull off a comeback in this sly comedy from director Charles Herman-Wurmfeld.

REVIEW:  Based somewhat on Carolla’s life, The Hammer could loosely be called a comedy.  The plot is typical guy-flick fare: downtrodden everyguy gets dumped by his self-centered girlfriend (how DARE she get bummed out over her fella’s lack of ambition!) and discovers that he’s missed his calling as an Olympic boxer, upgrading to a more understanding girl in the process.  Like the aspiring boxer portrayed in the film, the plot does deliver a surprise shot from time to time, but the true yucks come from Carolla’s droll quips.  Those who don’t enjoy Carolla can safely skip this offering, but I laughed out loud plenty of times, and I’ll never look at the La Brea Tar Pits quite the same again.

4 stars
HAWK

Abraham and Mary Lincoln: A House Divided (2001)

            Abraham and Mary Lincoln              

NETFLIX SYNOPSIS:  An unlikely couple, Abraham Lincoln and Mary Todd came from vastly different backgrounds — he the son of a dirt farmer, she the daughter of wealthy slave owners. This dual biography tells both of their stories, from their childhoods to their marriage, to their years in the White House, touching on their differences of opinion on the Civil War, their marital ups and downs and Mary’s fragile state of mind after Lincoln’s assassination.

REVIEW:  This is a 3-disc series. I found it very interesting and very well done.  It first was presented as part of the American Experience series on PBS. I highly recommend this DVD set not only for American history buffs but for anyone interested in one of the most heartbreaking and tragic periods in U.S. history.

The narration was excellent and I thought the actors that did the voices for Abraham and Mary Lincoln were very good, especially Holly Hunter as Mary Lincoln.

This series is fascinating and I did learn quite a lot.  For instance, I didn’t know that the Republican party was founded by some members of the Whig party, that included Mr. Lincoln, who wished to abolish slavery.  Also, I was surprised to see how much Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln were under attack both by the media and public during his time in government; Mrs. Lincoln because of her lavish overspending and Mr. Lincoln for his policies as President.

This series illustrated the personal heartbreaks this couple endured as well as intense pressure they both were under as the President and First Lady.  There are also some interesting facts about the Civil War, why some battles were won and some were lost.

All throughout this program, though, you never lose sight of the fact that these two very strong-minded individuals, Abraham and Mary Lincoln, were constantly struggling with their own personal demons while trying to keep their marriage and the United States of America together.

A great series and I’m very glad I watched it.

4.5 stars
Big A

12 Days of Terror (2004)

              12 Days of Terror              

NETFLIX SYNOPSIS:  When a lifeguard discovers the half-eaten body of an ill-fated swimmer, he promptly informs his superiors, who refuse to close the beach for fear the lucrative tourism trade will take a dive. Twelve days later, however, a hungry shark has claimed three more victims and seriously injured another. This made-for-television drama is based on the book by Richard Fernicola, which documents actual events that occurred off the New Jersey coast in 1916.

REVIEW:  Very good movie based on a true story. I even sometimes found this movie to be a little more tense than Jaws. I thought it was very well done and much better then what I’ve come to expect from a made-for-TV movie.

I liked it also because it didn’t depend on special effects to scare the viewers, the actors are excellent and all in all I thought this was a very well done and exciting story.

4 stars
Big A

Inside (2007)

                Inside               

NETFLIX SYNOPSIS:  Four months after her husband’s tragic death, Sarah (Alysson Paradis) prepares to head to the hospital to deliver her miracle baby. But what should be a blessed Christmas Eve event turns terrifying when a crazed woman (Béatrice Dalle) arrives at her home intent on taking Sarah’s baby. Taking up whatever sharp implement at hand, the psychotic woman relentlessly pursues the pregnant Sarah, determined to perform a grisly brand of C-section.

REVIEW:  It’s pretty grisly at times, true.  But some of the best scenes are the non-gory ones, where tension builds to an almost unbearable level.  The plot comes apart somewhat near the end (I still need someone to explain the scene with the re-animated policeman) but the movie does a great job of delivering a truly terrifying experience, not just a gory one.

4 stars
HAWK